Development undefined

Supplying calculators to schools is a great idea but shouldn’t priority one be to fix up the toilets in schools?

Feeling good

I’m going thru this good feeling after an exam. The best time to work or study is generally after an exam. Yeah, if not for all the distractions around; which reminds me that it’s been sometime since I watched anything worth watching on TV. Hmm… will it be too late to start living my life after I’m done with it, I wonder. I expect for and hope not!

The test was good. The presentation we could have been better. The assignment… eh still in progress. Satiated? Not yet! Life? No life!

Achieving Perfection

Cute kids

I don’t know why I sometimes go crazy over cute kids that I see in super markets and on streets. Sometimes it’s like I can’t wait to have my own, but all that responsibility scares me off. I spoke to my niece on the phone a little while ago and it’s so amazing how she tries to remember my name and voice. I just love them sooooo much that I wish they never grow up!

Motivation Upside-Down

The common belief is that managers, leaders and heads of organizations are responsible to effectively motivate people. Is this always true?

I feel it is the guys up there who actually need the motivation and the butter words to get them up and keep them going. Bitter words coming down and butter words going up – what difference can it make?

Believe me – A LOT!!!!

Have you ever thought that they too occasionally need a thumb up and a pat on the back. They may not always want to admit it but it sure is the case. Have, you ever thought that they too need a change in the day? All praise coming down and nothing going up after a job well done. It is a pity. No wonder that bosses are not always as productive as the subordinates. There’s no one to motivate them…

So because there is no one up there, it is in the hands of the lower and middle management to motivate the upstairs. That’s a privilege and in it self a motivation to you. Let’s stop criticizing and start looking at positives. May be overemphasis on the positives will eventually cause the negatives to be forgotten and left behind forever.

Come back

Sometimes I see her there, smiling at me
Like nothing happen
Sometimes she’s away in a detached world of her own
She sees nothing and she hears nothing
Not of this world
The ocean blue of her deep eyes
What she sees I can only guess at
Angels? Fairies? Fear or delight?
The coexistence of her, within my soul
She’s nothing more than a just a feeling
And I call to her…
“Come back”

From the Wealth of Nations

“Every individual necessarily labours to render the society as great as he can. He generally, indeed, neither intends to promote the public interest, nor knows how much he is promoting it… He intends only his own gain, and he is in this as he is in many other cases, led by an invisible hand to promote an end which was no part of his intention”

Adam Smith

Nicely Put

“Through and through the world is infested with quantity. To talk sense is to talk quantities. It is no use saying the nation is large… how large? It is no use saying radium is scarce… how scarce? You cannot evade quantity. You may fly to poetry and music and number will face you in your rhythms and your octaves”

From the world of mathematics, J. R. Newman

As easy as said

You know what; I just hate making everything sound so easy and so cool. Like we can just talk abt it and think abt it and write abt it and then it all just gets better… and better. How can one be sooooo out of ideas?

Creativity must create its self all over again……….

Street Spitters

Here are more practical issues that aren’t really worth putting down, but….

I am almost embarrassed at publishing this on blogger but I guess having a considerably low number of readers has its own advantages. The question this time is why do so many spit all over the streets and throw stuff out of their windows? Ok, ok, I know the situation is improving compared to what it was but then there are those few picnickers and frequent travelers that leave a bad reputation for the rest. And when there are dustbins eatly arranged every few yards on the street they end up getting stolen. The solution was to move on to permanently fixing these rubbish bins onto the pavements and poles and then what happens? They don’t really get cleaned out well. So back at square one and what do we do now? We are so pathetic that we end up writing about it to the papers and not to mention the annoyingly life invading ****** blogggggggg!

Can we just do this? Can we just pleeeease stop throwing things around and can we please manage to make a frown at those who do? It might not go a long way but it might just help a wee little bit… and as they say little drops of water….

Shopping with gals

Men finding it annoyingly difficult to shop with women often leave women with the freedom of shopping on their own which also is much more peaceful to the female. The trouble is to assume that all women and girls think the same. No we don’t. Never found myself being attracted to diamonds and I DO NOT fancy food. It’s a total waste of you. I can’t imagine the amount of time and potential in a person that is taken up for such fruitless effort and abortive interest. What is it anyway…. I just don’t understand and I hope someone will take the trouble to explain to me. There is soooooo much more to do or even think about or better yet to take a good long nap!

Street Cryers

Women with babies asleep on their shoulders in the heat of the sun and even the pouring rain, roam the streets of Colombo fervently hoping that someone will drop a note into their cans for some bread for the day. The difficulty is in choosing between giving and ignoring the pleading cries.

The industry of employed beggars is undoubtedly bringing large revenues for many entrepreneurs country wide. The number seems to be constantly increasing with restaurants, supermarkets and clothes outlets. Traffic lights and places of worship have also been infested. In deciding whether to give or not, the rational person may consider various possibilities of a situation. Sometime the amount given on charity is influenced by the physical ability or disability of these cryers. They say, no one feels the pain of easy money but is that actually applicable to the ones burning their skins to sleep on payments to put on a convincing act. Is that actually the best they could do?

A question that must disturb many of us, is to find out what our role is here. What other legal ways could they – the street cryers - be employed in? For me, finding time to ponder is the hardest of all. So I settle back like the rest of the passive 19 million of my land… to leave this thought at this blog and nothing more!

Left behind

It’s as if I have no reason to be associated with
It’s as if the whole lot is waiting to assault me
It’s as if it’s my only faults that are seeked
It’s as if all are coming at me at one moment

It’s as if no one sees anymore good in me
There is no space to breath

It’s as if I have been taken over by some unnamed evil
There is no time to think

It’s as if I will never come back to being myself
There is no place to go

It’s as if I am lost in the depths of the universe unable to find my way back
There is no hope to dream

Those celestial objects overstep me pretending they have never seen me…
the way I am now….. no one would ever remember what I was….
I have left it behind
Forever…

Is the Quran really a divine word?

Most people restrict their blogs to a particular stream of thought. I tend to blog about anything and everything that’s in my mind. No order, no classification, no structure, not even subject. This is one place that is my own to play with. Or is it really?

I made the evening tea today after ages. I feel guilty that I am not able to help around enough. It’s not because I don’t want to; it’s because 24 hours is simply not adequate for my work and needs that are voracious. I wonder how the rest of the world manages with it. I was able to take a few naps every now and then in the two gifted days. Anyway as soon as I get my post-grads off my hands, I hope to engage in kitchen and home specialities which still unfortunately remain important in this part of the world. I remember that I use to make time to recite the Quran and read a little from its translation everyday. It is a good mind-meditation scheme that brings me back to reality just like the five daily prayers do. Now I barely remember when I did that last, leave alone fixing up the tea.

I am somehow not satisfied reading the translation of the Quran. I did learn Arabic but the Quran is not just in spoken Arabic. The meanings are a lot deeper than what is literally implied. While reading I get the feeling that the Quran is somehow different from any other book. Is it because it is not a product of the human mind? It certainly cannot be because facts in the Quran were not known to mankind at the time revelations came down. In fact most of it still isn’t. It is a book of the past, the present and the future that will suit all times and all mankind. The Quran is logical. Science may contradict it but how many times in the past has science taken a U-turn? The Quran never will, because it is the absolute truth and just because some experiments performed by the very limited man illustrate otherwise that does not make the Quran wrong or false. Many attempts in the past to disprove the Quran as the word of God have ended as miserable failures. I only hope that my time on earth will be long enough to read and understand all of it, Insha Allah.

“This Quran is not such as can be produced by other than Allah; on the contrary it is a confirmation of (revelation) before it, and a fuller explanation of the book wherein there is no doubt - from the lord of the worlds. Or do they say, ‘He forged it’? Say: Bring then a sura like unto it and call (to your aid), anyone you can, Besides Allah, if it be ye speak the truth” 10:37-38

i LoVe YoU bUt I lOvE GOD mOrE

Worthy of it

After my blog on how my two great great great grandfathers (as in generation) built the museum I found out that inham is actually a very distantly related uncle or may be even grand uncle. The fact that I don’t know how many other relatives have been misplaced and would never be known to have existed, doesn’t really seem to have all that an impact on me. Tracing back the generation is sure hard and my cousin says he’s actually going to continue the book about the ancestry that’s been coming down. We would never know for sure all of it, but how far does it really matter?

In most nations it is even illegal to ask for the date of birth at an interview. Why then should we bother tracing back family and people and origins if it really doesn’t matter anymore? The question is how far does it influence who you are? Do I really get preference in anything for having a well known and respected gay name? Yeah right, I sure don’t wana depend on someone else’s good name to get me my own recognition. Recognition of course is important but it must come from purely within yourself. As much as this should be practised within ourselves it must be applied to others as well. To me a person’s qualifications behind his name or the status he belongs to, has absolutely no relevance or influence on my opinion of the person concerned. And tell me please what is wrong in not respecting those who are not worthy of it even if they be somebody great and important to the whole world!

Yet So...

So harsh
So stiff
So disturbed
Yet funny
Yet silent
Yet sweet

So furious
So fearsome
So different
Yet calm
Yet pleasant
Yet fascinating

So nothing
Yet so much

Good bye world!

I’m Letting go…

Ok I’m depressed again. I guess that theory about the fact that you blog the most when you feel down is not completely incorrect just as much as the expression that your blogs unconsciously demonstrate your personality. I no longer feel like that there is anything grand about the noble profession. You die, you give your life and death and your very best to the kids and they end up just doing nothing at all. Anti-depression drugs are highly recommended during marking and vivas. I am not willing to take it that people “can’t”. It’s only a question of whether they “want” to. When the answer to that is “no” I simply don’t see why effort should be coming out of only one end like a one way street. Sometimes it’s just best to give up and let the world go on at it’s own pace and style…

Back to the future

A recent conversation with a colleague lead me to recall a very vague memory from childhood. A faded vision of visiting a gloomy building full of ornaments. It’s been donkey’s years since we visited the ancient building although every now and then we pass it on our way to and back from work.

Long years ago when my grandma used to tell me that it was her great grandfather and his cousin brother together who built the museum, it just made a good bed time story. History and politics has always claimed only a very small part of my interest which I know is not good.

A bit from the story: Queen Victoria apparently gifted one of the cousins a golden cup while the other requested that the museum be closed on Fridays. This cup which has been coming down the generations now lies somewhere at home. Please don’t try to rob me anyone. I have nothing to do with this ;)

One fact that I’m trying to highlight from this little story is that generation after generation, history gets diluted. Being in an information age one might think it to be almost impossible to not have information on absolutely anything. It is only very few of the sparks and glitters of history that have been written and rewritten or preserved. There’s so much unknown to the modern man. Also today, people seem to have very little time for history. Occasionally in political conversations, one would hear salient features of the periods of time under the Bandaranayakes, the Jayawardana’s and the like…. But how much of it is actually unknown, we may never never know…

Will I be ok with the man marrying more than one or will I be able to marry someone who’s already married?

I have asked this question from myself a few times in the past and the answer to my surprise has honestly always been “yes”. This is how I feel now but it can change. According to my mum, it will change. Well I don’t out rule her argument simply because I don’t know what I will be ten years from now. May be I will fall way too much for the man to have him shared but I am by nature not possessive and in a very objective approach from where I am sitting right now I really don’t mind. It may however not be possible for a person to love all equally. Jealousy is inevitable.
As far as I’m concerned this is an amateurish argument. I feel that Islam recognises our needs far better than us. Nothing knows creation better than the creator. There may be men who need more than one partner and this can also be vice versa as we have seen in the past. Sometimes we just accept things without understanding their true gravity. Widows need to be taken care of but do they necessarily need to be married for the same reason? It could happen to any of us. What is our position then?
I try my best to put myself in the shoes of all parties concerned. Given a choice, a person would always ‘say’ that they want to be monogamous whether this by nature is true or not. My true feeling in my heart of hearts is that I would certainly be unhappy and torn to know that I alone am not enough for someone but I have thought about it to conclude that that - the idea of not having someone at all is better than to have him along with someone else - is wrong. This can of course vary from person to person. I think it is better to let the man free and have more than one; than to make him live the rest of his life with you but not actually want you or to make him have mistresses and the like.
As for the female I believe that the woman by nature is not polygamous. There could be various reasons why she could opt for more than one. One of which may be that the man fails her in someway. The problems arising from a woman having more than one partner (male) are far more complicated causing both physical and mental tribulations for children as well as other concerned participants.
Islam however lays strict conditions for a man to marry more than once. For example he must have the necessary means and resources to take care of more than one family. Of course in the modern days polygamy is less applicable and conditions are very difficult to satisfy. It is more the call of the mind than the heart that must lead a man to make such a drastic decision and he by no means must hurt his family when making such a move. In my opinion the need and the cause must be clearly defined and justified. Please see Jenna for more than this.

Marriage

Islam does not make marriage mandatory upon any person be it male or female. If a person feels that marriage is not suitable for him or her, he or she is free to stay single but it is of course a highly recommended action. It also brings safety, protection and a sense of belongingness which are primary human needs. The male as part of the condition to be married must have enough wealth and resources to support a family plus must pay ‘Mahr’ to the wife. The wife is I in fact allowed to demand for the amount of Mahr she wishes. (Hardly happens though).
If the man has nothing at all he should in the least be able to give at least some form of education to the wife. This is not indication that the man is to be sold rather it is to indicate that a man has the necessary resources to take care of a family. The man must also host the waleema which is the celebration of the marriage in order to notify everyone that he is now living legally with a woman. Unfortunately wrong practice of Islam specially in the Asian countries have lead people to believe otherwise. The parents are allowed to gift whatever they wish to their children both male and female. The son will have two thirds while the daughter will have one thirds of the total share. This is because the man has far more commitments than a woman a few of which are listed above. He has the duty and responsibility of taking care of his parents, his parents-in-law, dependent siblings and servants plus wives and children. Quite a heavy load I must say. A heavy load for which extra physical, mental and financial strength has been given. On the other hand a woman’s inheritance, earnings and savings are entirely hers alone unless she wishes otherwise.

A silent prayer

Lord, help me to admit when I am wrong make me easier to live with when I am right.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

People who have nothing are sometimes right at the top because people who have everything lack the willingness to move forward!

A mistake turned into a sleep opportunity!

After realizing that I had just swallowed some of my mother’s capsules thinking they were vitamins I called my uncle who’s a doctor to find how critical a mistake I had made. He said I’ll live. He said also that I’ll be drowsy.

Had I been a more regular with my vitamins such a thing was sure not to occur. However I am fired unsympathetically by all for being absent minded and several past incidents are also brought up.

After achieving half of my day’s objectives and approximately six mugs of coffee and lots of water into my system I go into coma right after work and all through dinner. No teeth brushing, No bed time rituals and formalities.

I wake up at quarter to dawn, pray and think that now I am completely off. The gloom of Friday topped by the weather (yes, man is never satisfied) I am thinking what excuse can I make today!

…About Liars and Dishonesty

“It is ok not to tell the truth always but it is also dishonest to stay quiet!”

Just a thought

The greatest and worst difficulty in the phase of life is, having to live it.

From Ms. to Mrs. to Ms.

He:
Mr. - White collar job. Marital status - unknown. Age – unknown
Man – All
Gentleman – Well established; well dressed

She:
Miss – Unmarried, young
Mrs. – Married, Middle aged
Ms. – Marital status undisclosed… probably unmarried & middle aged or married & looking
Woman – not reached satisfactory status
Lady - well established; well dressed
[Career status unknown for all categories]

Why not just names?

More gossip…

Dreeeeeam…., dream… dream… dream… mmmm

Dreaming all the way to work last week, hearing silly jokes being cracked on radio I was realizing that my time on earth is running out real fast. It doesn’t even seem that I’ve lived as long as I have. A couple of more decades is probably all that I may have left. Am I actually living my life or saving it up for no reason? Sacrificing so much for what?
To think that I don’t have the pleasure of spending even a single day of the week in exactly the manner that I want to; to think that I have so much control and so little time and authority to do what I really want to; to think that folks without even a first degree are better off than I; to think that I am hardly more than a single soul just walking around through an extract of time; to think that I will die and never be remembered; to think that I have nothing to make me proud of; to think, to think and to think… until it is time to get off and join that miserable cob web of life and to realise that there is nothing more that I can do than think….

How my Sunday went on all wrong….!

I switch the alarm on my phone off and roll back disheartened by the fact that it was dawn already. I have forty winks then wake up to the guilty feeling of being behind schedule. Subh is prayed way later than the time and breakfast is gulped down.
After a week of debating whether a two hour MBA slot was actually more important than an hour and a half of a training program I decided that it was. I was already short on attendance and it was my smart idea to have a 5 slot lecture on May Day and this was before I knew the training program was on. Much to the dissatisfaction of the organizers I informed that I will be late. After a very fast drive and climbing stairs two at a time I am torn to pieces by the trainers comments on my late arrival. I smile patiently and wish I never came. I then discover that sudha has changed my password and I am unable to login. Lunch was a horrid disaster with instructions being wrong and then to my horror I discover that the remainder of the program has been called off. Ok now I feel serious guilt for sneaking out of the morning MBA lecture without informing. I so badly wanted to go back and had I known about the cancellation I would have left right after the training session. I hurriedly call home hoping that there still is a possibility. I am informed that no one can leave home because there is a huge rally in front of my lane. Now I am stuck for transport. I didn’t wana risk been dragged out of a three wheeler somewhere in the middle of May Day chaos. A lift is offered from a colleague to drop us off. On the way home after meeting “Road closed” signs on three roads and spending what seemed like hours in what may have been the hottest zone in CMB, I finally end up at my grandmas bringing her back from dreamland. I then sense the beginning of what may be food poisoning and I can’t wait to be picked up and get home. But I am told that the road condition still remains the same and I am now totally depressed. I chat with grandma about almost every topic that I can think of and I so want to sleep now. Finally the pleasing sound of the tooting horn and I’m on my way to heaven. I give updates on the miserable and extremely hot day’s events to the folks. I wash and freshen up and open some econ exercises to realise that I have forgotten what was done the previous day. I close the book and I am typing this while checking my mail. And I think I’m, going to mark now.
On second thoughts I’m wondering whether it is really worth blogging this. And now that I have taken the trouble to type it I am not going to have it wasted!