Cleaning out my closet

It happened right in front of my eyes... My whole childhood was wiped out of my sight within a matter of what seemed like milliseconds.

It’s been not more than a decade since we moved in but I do remember taking precautions when carrying my insect skeletons from the nature collection when shifting house. Yes I did collect dead things. When we were leaving, I faked tears about Timothy the cat (no., didn’t get that name from the famous five) and the jam tree that we used to climb. I mean I was actually sad but crying is always difficult for me. I remember the day I made it right up to the garage roof after climbing my highest on the old jam tree that grew with us. It was amazing for me then. If only I could have got a picture of my achievement. If only I did not have to do it hiding so much. If mum or dad had seen me, I’d feel like running away from home to umammas (grandma). And then there were the dolls. Not many but when shared with the neighbors ones, the number definitely grew. (Now don’t get thinking).

Last night: I tell the mother that I want the dolls kept exactly where they are. (swear I don’t play with them anymore – just use them as bedroom ornaments). But she says no. She has them piled up in a big box and tied to be given away. I seriously wanted to cry. My handwork and insect collection goes out next. My journals – oh no I’m not going to have them out – no way. And then in a few minutes I see my entire childhood piled up in boxes and lined to be taken out. No way! This can’t be happening. It’s just a bad dream…. I’ll wake up and everything will be alright… only this isn’t childhood anymore to be having bad dreams and wanting to sleep in the parents’ room… this is real life and in real life there are no bad dreams… its bad enough!