The local muzlim weddings

While taking some quick breaks off work to either play text twist, flipwords or solitaire I found it rather addictive and decided to rather blog about a recent observation which was becoming a botheration.

Having been forced to go to a wedding of people that I barely knew I was just seated there with a long face and very uncomfortably draped in a saree that again was forced on me. I made sure to leave home as late as I possibly could in order to minimize the time I’ll be wasting at the wedding that I so didn’t want to go. However, the family started pouring in all the conventions on me about ‘honouring invitation’ and ‘respecting your host’ etc. etc… I barely even bothered to listen.

While I had nothing to talk about at the wedding I was occupying myself observing the wedding and simultaneously wondering why mobile phones with TV screens are getting so late to arrive. There was the occasional “Hello dear, I heard your husband is abroad… how is he doing?” Eh… well how am I supposed to know when I’m here?

My observations:

While quite a few seemed to be obsessed with jewelry and clothing I happen to take a look at the throne. A throne now is not readily accepted by the virtues of an Islamic wedding. However, having very large gatherings as we do today, it may just be a requirement rather than anything else so I presume it is acceptable. However, there were more unacceptable issues.

The bride was dressed in a white gown and her face was hidden behind a veil. She was surrounded by half a dozen flower girls and those poor kids looked so tired. The place was full and everyone seemed to have something to talk about except my poor self. The late arrival of the groom was most unwelcome by everyone except the bride herself who perhaps may have been rather impatient. As far as the religion is concerned, there are no regulations on what the bride should wear on her wedding day. If she is happy in jeans it would be most welcome as long as there are no non-mahram men around. (mahram: men that you cannot marry eg: brothers, uncles etc)

The throne got all crowded when the groom had to put the shavadi (some kind of a gold chain and pendent) which is probably a custom inherited from the Indians. The food was probably the only good thing. I didn’t notice a wedding ring (too hungry). Again – only a cultural requirement and nothing to do with nikah or marriage in Islam.

The wedding was secluded as most muzlim and Islamic weddings are. Well… there is a difference between muzlim and Islamic. Culture and religion - mixup. That should probably be in a separate post all together.

The point is - people have too many unessential wedding customs, spend extravagantly, end up wasting a lot and gaining not very much. As for me – the wedding is nothing more than a medium of communication to enlighten people that you are now living legally with someone who was once a stranger and that any child born would be within wedlock. (Less fear of aids etc.) All the rest of it is what? Showing off? I don’t know but whatever the case may be, Islam encourages a life of simplicity and strongly discourages overspending and extravagance. With great gifts come… more pain… and less sleep…!